The New York Times article on November 26, 2022 (“They Were Surrogates. Now They Must Raise the Children.”) Sunday edition included an article about the legal challenges for surrogacy in Cambodia, which have resulted in women being forced to raise children they expected would be raised by their biological parent(s), while the intended parents are in turn being prosecuted for using a surrogate.
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The New York Times article on April 2, 2022 (“Desperately Seeking Surrogates”) has some accurate information contained within along with plenty of misguided and misleading statements. Some key points:
What is on the mark in this piece is the realization that there are fewer qualified carriers these days to go around. More couples and singles (single men and women are intended parents,
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We feel for any parents-to-be who are fearful and frightened about the outcome of their pregnancy, but the situation in Ukraine right now is unique and particularly disturbing.
Ukraine effectively replaced India some years ago as a venue for low-cost surrogacy and intended parents from the US, Europe and other parts of the world have been gravitating to the country to be able to work with clinics, programs and gestational carriers at fees they can more easily afford. It is completely understandable that for aspiring parents of more modest means who also desire a genetic link with their child, the costs associated with a top-flight US-based IVF clinic, established surrogacy program and qualified and responsible surrogate mother are often prohibitive.
Sadly, there are trade-offs in the pursuit of lower cost surrogacy – quality of medical care, background of carrier and security of the legal proceedings had been the chief ones intended parents needed to understand and accept. Now political unrest and potential for violence/war have to be risks taken into consideration. We are hoping that every surrogate mom in Ukraine gets to complete her pregnancy in a safe environment and every intended parent ends up with a healthy baby.
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Sometimes in life we “know” something before we really “know” it. That is how it was for me with surrogacy. Over the years I have counseled countless people considering this path to parenthood. Many asked me why someone would want to become a gestational carrier. My answer has always been the same. “How often does one have the opportunity to change a family’s life in such a significant way? Being a surrogate doesn’t just mean bringing a child to parents who want one. It brings a niece, a nephew, a cousin, a grandchild, a son or daughter who may one day have children of their own who may one day have children of their own. Surrogacy is a gift that keeps on giving.”
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I’m going to split the question into two parts: one is easy to answer and one’s a little harder.
So first, are they better? Are they superhuman? The answer to that is absolutely NO.
No one does IVF to create a superhuman. People who use IVF do it as a last resort after many unsuccessful attempts to have children the natural way. So no one’s taking superhuman sperm and supermodel Ivy League eggs and putting them together to create some superhuman. That just doesn’t happen. The reason we want to procreate is to pass on our own DNA. That’s behind the sex drive and everything that makes us go. And so in IVF, when people want to have their own babies, they want their own zygotes. They want their own DNA. They don’t want some outside superhuman DNA. They want kids who are like them. And even when people look for donors, they look for donors who look like them. That’s the main search criterion for most recipients: to find a donor who looks like them because they want kids who are like them. They don’t want some superhuman. That’s the realm of science fiction when it comes to IVF that people were afraid of: that these super creatures would be created in the lab.
Now the other thing is: are IVF kids not as good? Are they defective in some way? Is there some problem with IVF children? Well, we know in general that IVF can have a risk of premature birth and low birth weight,
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Here is the link to Kathy Benardo’s IG live interview with Mama Glow. We discussed many issues regarding third party reproduction. https://www.instagram.com/tv/COQjpkfpMBh/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
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Sanford Benardo has an editorial in the Albany Times Union about NY’s new surrogacy legislation.
Read the article on the Times Union site
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The Child-Parent Security Act has passed in New York, but the regulations for a New York surrogacy are so onerous, I suspect most New York residents will work out of state anyway. The law is applicable to situations where the carrier resides in and/or will deliver in New York State. If intended parents live in New York and work with an out of state gestational carrier, the additional burdens and expenses involved with satisfying New York’s statutory requirements will not apply. New York’s statutory framework in the CPSA has been promoted (by the legislators and lawyers involved in its creation, primarily) as ground-breaking. It is not. Many states and surrogacy programs have been protecting carriers and intended parents carefully and comprehensively for years.
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Please watch this video before applying to be a surrogate (gestational carrier). If you meet the basic requirements it is easy to submit our on line application.
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